It is in our dreams that we have the unique opportunity to encounter the departed as they were still alive in physical form - we can look at them, converse with them and even touch them.

I come here and try to write.. but can't come up with the words.

How Long Will The Pain Last?
Author Unknown


How long will the pain last?" a broken hearted mourner asked me.

"All the rest of your Life." I have to answer truthfully. We never quite forget. No matter how many

years pass,we remember. The loss of a loved one is like a major operation. Part of us is removed, and we have a scar for the rest of our lives. As years go by, we manage. There are things to do, people to care for, tasks that call for full attention. But the pain is still there, not far below the surface. We see a face that looks familiar, hear a voice that echoes, see a photograph in someone's album, see a landscape that once we saw together, and it seems as though a knife were in the wound again. But not so painfully. And mixed with joy, too. Because remembering a happy time is not all sorrow, it brings back happiness with it.


How long will the pain last?

All the rest of your life. But the things to remember is that not only the pain will last, but the blessed memories as well. Tears are proof of life. The more love, the more tears. If this be true, then how could we ever ask that the pain cease altogether. For then the memory of love would go with it.



The pain of grief is the price we pay for love.

Take my hand and walk with me.. today we're going to take a walk down Memory Lane. The first and only stop today will be 26 Memory Lane, my Grandparent's house.
Walk up the path to the door and up the steps, 2 steps and a short step into the house. Inhale the smell of my Grandmother's baking or my Grandfather's pipe as you step inside. Take your coat off and hang it on the coatrack, its right there on your left, theres usually a windbreaker and a heavy shirt hanging there and on the floor theres a box with winter snow supplies. Be careful to avoid the weak spot on the floor as you walk the rest of the way into the kitchen, past the table and toward the stove, to see whats in the pan on top, I can guarantee that its something good, as the house smells so good. To the left of the stove is the microwave, look inside and see what shes got hiding in there and if theres nothing there, right next to it is the cookie jar. Thats never empty. That counter that you're leaning on is where I stood and baked my first cake, later on I baked another cake and decided it'd be fun to pull the beaters out of the batter while they were on, I'd read about it and wanted to try it. My Grandmother wasn't happy with me that day! Step over toward the sink and the window, careful when you lean against that part of the counter, its usually wet from whoever did dishes last. Look out the window and see the apple tree, always loaded with huge, red apples. Under the apple tree is a catnip plant and sometimes a cat, getting his or her fill of catnip. Next to the sink is the breadbox, or the breadcan as we all called it, and then the refridgerator and a broom closet. I used to hide in there when we played hide and seek.

Next we have the living room, be careful again to avoid the weak spot by the table as you walk in. To your right is the TV, its always on, the channel depends on who was watching, or in the later years, who had the remote. Directly in front of you was a desk, with a phone and TV guide, a lamp and whatever my Grandmother was reading. Next to the desk was her chair. Sometimes you could find a cat curled up in the chair. Directly across from her chair was my Grandfather's recliner. Look down on the floor and notice the tobacco and crumbs all around it. Next to his chair was a dresser with drawers and a cabinet. He kept all his worldly treasures in there. Behind both chairs, was a seldom used couch and a bookcase.

Follow me down the hall for more memories. First room on your right is the laundry room, it was my bedroom at first.. a bright airy room with a view of the backyard and the birds with a huge closet that I used to check at night to make sure no one was hiding there!

Next room on the right is the bathroom. A counter runs all along the bathroom, ending with a cabinet. The items on the counter never change. A small pile of clothes, my Grandmother's face powder, lipstick and hearing aid batteries, a box of tissues and a comb, powder, toothpaste and toothbrushes, a sink and 2 glasses. Open up the cabinet now and breathe, doesn't it smell good?

Walk back out into the hall and to the right is what was my bedroom, a room where I spent many hours as a teenager, listening to my stereo, writing, reading and doing whatever teenagers do. Playing with makeup, dancing to the bee-gee's and gazing out the window dreaming about my first love.

walk out the door.. back toward the living room.. theres one more room, on your right is my Grandparent's bedroom. a big room,with a backdoor going out to the yard where my Grandfather spent many hours gardening and working in the shed, playing with his stamp and coin collection and bonding with the kitties.

Walk out the backdoor with me, careful going down the ramp, its slippery sometimes in the winter. I feel the snow crunching under my feet as we walk through the shed, remembering years ago when I'd walk in the shed and see my Grandfather working on his latest project, whether it be his coin collection or super glue-ing my piggy bank back together after I'd dropped it one day. I still have that piggy bank, I'll never get rid of it because everytime I look at it, I remember the patience my Grandfather had, glue-ing the pieces together one at a time, so it was whole again.